Grabbed the girl and in my moment of fluster my sensibilities went stupid. What I should've done was calmly lift her out of her tub and turned to place her on the toilet. What actually happened was in my wild excitement I hoisted her naked about to explode ass out of the tub to run, yes run, to her bedroom to her potty. That was the frenzied plan.
While doing so, I loudly prayed to the porcelain god (lol a different prayer, I digress) to please let us make it and not...*damn* dropped on the floor. Not only did her enormous (must add prune juice to her diet) turd hit the floor with foot felt reverberation, I swear in slow motion the thing rolled. Like a log. Gross. Should've just let the girl crap in her tub.