However a side of myself was exposed along with observing how strangers behave. I noticed how quickly people throw stones, the mob mentality and rampant witch hunts avalanche at frightening speeds and force. One such occasion was about a tow truck diver that refused to pick someone up because of her political choice displayed on a bumper sticker. I jumped to facebook and Twiter to toss my two cents in because, well he's a jerk, should be told by me because why? I'm not Jesus. After which I left my 2 cent post but followed up with sure he was a jerk and made an ugly choice but I too went down to his level and chose ugly words about another human being. I felt some how I did the same thing he did.
I then went to my facebook and added a post: (notice the post after was a mean meme I had created and that people retweeted or liked- about a person who used a disease to boost her sales.)
Then the nap happened. Background and will update my anxiety issues, is my anxiety has been improving immensely; however I needed ativan after this dream.
I took my 4 year old daughter, in the dream, to Seattle via bus and her purple roller skates (of which she doesn't have). I am there to pick up my college certificate (I got my AS in 2009). The city was bustling with proms and university activities. We were getting lost in a valet parking garage. Cars going everywhere. Barely slowing down for a mother carrying her daughter and skates. She fell asleep in my arms and skates in the other. Still in the garage, we were crossing over to the valet station for help and directions. I stepped up to the curb and the skates fell out of my hands into a pile of shoes the valet was cleaning up.
I said, "Excuse me, the skates mistakenly fell in your pile, these are my daughter's". The male attendant told me he can't be sure, he didn't see it fall there so he has to take them to the office. He refused to talk to me and didn't direct me to anyone else. I flagged another person explained the misunderstanding thinking this will be quickly resolved and she said, "No, we don't just give this to anybody." I was starting to get upset not understanding what the freak is going on here!
Then all of sudden every employee felt the need to come up to me to remind me I'm not getting the skates back, I should've had them labeled, why didn't you get a valet ticket, why would that child you have wear purple when he's a boy, those skates can't be hers they are too big. Person after person, none stop. Finally I collapsed crying, sobbing I just wanted help and compassion. An employee even threw the employee book at me about the rules.
Thinking I found the answer through a manager, she just started asking me questions about my daughter, what school, grade, her friends and kept saying she was Jonathan. In my head I thought, "Oh God she thinks I kidnapped a boy and what started out as a misunderstanding about skates this thing is going to blow up into a kidnapping"! After her interrogation in light as she needed to see my daughter's face she was convinced I did not take the boy.
Relieved, I thought now we can move on get those skates. She flat out said, "Not going to happen." I begged and cried and I said, "Look she doesn't have shoes on because she was wearing those skates!" Another person threw a tagged rule page and stuck to my forehead painfully. On my knees again people just kept coming and coming at me, not letting me explain what really had happened. One woman came to help me up to my knees and she started shooing the others. But even she couldn't get my skates. The dream ended after I left a message for my husband to come pick us up.
This dream shook me up so much I had to take an ativan. I realized what had happened. Twitter came to life. People I didn't know bombarding me with judgement, literally being tagged, prejudice not knowing what happened, mobbing me making me feel shame and fear! I know it was real Twitter life because they couldn't say more than 140 characters!
Only one person out of many had compassion. I hope in real life this isn't the case, but reading other peoples' comments these days I feel maybe this is it or maybe there are more but don't want to say anything for fear of becoming a target.
I fear for society as a whole, how has the social media beast changed us? I fear for my daughter. She's 4 and I'm starting to teach her when she gets compliments from someone, I tell her those are someone else's thoughts; good or bad it came from someone else's head. Just as you have your own ideas or thoughts, those are the thoughts and ideas you should pay close attention to; others', pick and choose their words that make you feel happy and good.
We shame ourselves in our own way, we judge ourselves in our own way we don't need to shame others; so much shaming. Instead of focusing how the father wrote a letter using poor choice of words, those are his words, his truth I thank the Goddess and God and the almighty his choices are not my truths, instead go uplift the victim. Send actual cards with written words, flowers, a gift, something special to uplift her! Don't use your powers or waste your time on those you feel should be condemned, use your powers to help good your time is valuable your choices are so powerful be what's right with the world!